Caryaring is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, calm shrew.

Caryaring created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Caryaring, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Caryaring, he will turn you into a hamster.

Caryaring's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Caryaring's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat garlic.

2. Never feed lots of beans to pigs while wearing blue skirts.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Caryaring.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Never look at planets.