Lakbegbim is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, bad-tempered snake.

Lakbegbim created the Virgo Supercluster four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakbegbim, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lakbegbim, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Lakbegbim's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Lakbegbim's Holy Commandments

1. Lakbegbim loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

2. Never paint your back magenta.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.