Xuckxenveg Kimzaglid is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, dishonourable newt.

Xuckxenveg Kimzaglid created silver seven million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckxenveg Kimzaglid, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xuckxenveg Kimzaglid, he will turn you into a snail.

Xuckxenveg Kimzaglid's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Xuckxenveg Kimzaglid's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

3. You must never eat melons.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.