Basshonkom Sawwigpas is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, ruthless spider.

Basshonkom Sawwigpas created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Basshonkom Sawwigpas, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Basshonkom Sawwigpas, she will boil you in a big pot.

Basshonkom Sawwigpas' most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Basshonkom Sawwigpas' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Retreat if five aardvarks approach from the west.

4. Never look at planets.

5. You must pray to Basshonkom Sawwigpas eight times a day.