Spagtinnartkon is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unsympathetic chinchilla.

Spagtinnartkon created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagtinnartkon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Spagtinnartkon, she will turn you into a frog.

Spagtinnartkon's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Spagtinnartkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Spagtinnartkon.

5. Respect your elders.