Dimtonhas is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, intelligent tapir.

Dimtonhas created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimtonhas, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dimtonhas, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dimtonhas' most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Dimtonhas' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant red sculpture of Dimtonhas in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about grasshopers.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Never write about electromagnetism.

5. Never mention sharks.