Vintof is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced wyrm.

Vintof created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Vintof, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vintof, it will turn you into a mole.

Vintof's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Vintof's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Do not speak about cucumbers.