Lundanmil Tentigbam is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, awesome troll.

Lundanmil Tentigbam created Europe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lundanmil Tentigbam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lundanmil Tentigbam, she will send minions to preach to you.

Lundanmil Tentigbam's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Lundanmil Tentigbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Put Lundanmil Tentigbam first in all things.

3. Never feed corn to eagles while wearing shorts.

4. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

5. Run away if nine badgers approach from the east.