Farcuddav is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless monkey.

Farcuddav created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Farcuddav, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Farcuddav, he will cry a lot.

Farcuddav's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Farcuddav's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about shrews.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Farcuddav.

3. Never eat tomatoes.

4. Do not hurt sharks.

5. Farcuddav loves pigs, so they must be honoured.