Bitdusscum is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unjust guinea pig.

Bitdusscum created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitdusscum, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bitdusscum, she will throw large rocks at you.

Bitdusscum's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bitdusscum's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near monkeys.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Bitdusscum loves ants, so they must be respected.

5. You must never eat turnips.