Rapcumkar is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, moody hydra.

Rapcumkar created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Rapcumkar, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rapcumkar, he will turn you into a frog.

Rapcumkar's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Rapcumkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not make images of living things.