Tappitcap is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, humorless mole.

Tappitcap created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tappitcap, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tappitcap, it will torture you forever.

Tappitcap's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Tappitcap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Tappitcap on top of all buildings.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Do not step barefoot upon orange earth.

4. Never think about quantum field theory.

5. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.