Gan is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciless toad.

Gan created the Sol system six million years ago.

If you believe in Gan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gan, it will make you grow a tail.

Gan's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Gan's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about turtles.

3. Always help bats.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gan.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.