Hotvinban is a god.

It takes the form of a large, caring otter.

Hotvinban created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotvinban, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hotvinban, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Hotvinban's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Hotvinban's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt nematodes.

2. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Hotvinban in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Run away if eight otters approach from the south.

5. Never eat green fruit.