Honflambun is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, charitable mink.

Honflambun created matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Honflambun, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Honflambun, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Honflambun's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Honflambun's Holy Commandments

1. Always store cucumbers above ground.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

5. Feed all hungry manatees.