Danquartsigkim is a god.

She takes the form of a small, irritating wolf.

Danquartsigkim created the Milkyway nine million years ago.

If you believe in Danquartsigkim, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Danquartsigkim, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Danquartsigkim's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Danquartsigkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dwarf planets.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Do not name children after swans.

4. Always remove coats before entering holy places.

5. Shun those given to greed.