Stanbissrul is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, egotistical jaguar.

Stanbissrul created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Stanbissrul, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stanbissrul, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Stanbissrul's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Stanbissrul's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near turtles while wearing black boots and balancing seven zinc spheres on your face.