Mattifkan is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, strong centipede.

Mattifkan created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Mattifkan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mattifkan, it will strike you with lightening.

Mattifkan's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Mattifkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention voles.

2. Always look after injured sharks.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mattifkan.

4. Never feed lentils to manatees while wearing rings.

5. Do not hurt hamsters.