Padhotgid is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, temperamental goat.

Padhotgid created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Padhotgid, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Padhotgid, she will be very sad.

Padhotgid's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Padhotgid's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never think about stars.