Kinfitmat is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, annoying tortoise.

Kinfitmat created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinfitmat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kinfitmat, she will turn you into a slug.

Kinfitmat's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Kinfitmat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Kinfitmat in the centre of the settlement.