Vadartgat Cimviltip is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, competent centipede.

Vadartgat Cimviltip created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadartgat Cimviltip, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vadartgat Cimviltip, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Vadartgat Cimviltip's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Vadartgat Cimviltip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

2. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never talk about optics near voles while wearing white coats.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.