Yamxengeb is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, blissful jaguar.

Yamxengeb created the Small Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamxengeb, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yamxengeb, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Yamxengeb's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Yamxengeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to dolphins while wearing violet shorts.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not take Yamxengeb's name in vain.