Govfasfigtar is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, annoying wolf.

Govfasfigtar created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Govfasfigtar, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Govfasfigtar, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Govfasfigtar's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Govfasfigtar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

2. You must never eat beans.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not kill swans.