Matfunlarp is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonourable snake.

Matfunlarp created the planet Venus three million years ago.

If you believe in Matfunlarp, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Matfunlarp, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Matfunlarp's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Matfunlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near porpoises while wearing white ear rings.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Run away if nine moths approach from the south.

5. Never wear green scarves.