Afgessfun Xemtafstragrutt is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, tranquil hydra.

Afgessfun Xemtafstragrutt created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afgessfun Xemtafstragrutt, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Afgessfun Xemtafstragrutt, it will turn you into a slug.

Afgessfun Xemtafstragrutt's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Afgessfun Xemtafstragrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.