Bepsatvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, benevolent tapir.

Bepsatvonk created the solar system four years ago.

If you believe in Bepsatvonk, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bepsatvonk, she will manifest in front of you.

Bepsatvonk's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bepsatvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never mention eagles.

5. Hide from magenta porpoises for they are unholy.