Flambusnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, quiet frog.

Flambusnurt created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flambusnurt, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flambusnurt, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Flambusnurt's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Flambusnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near grasshopers while wearing yellow coats and balancing seven carbon spheres on your back.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always look after injured tortoises.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.