Pibtonarpbep is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, generous salamander.

Pibtonarpbep created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pibtonarpbep, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pibtonarpbep, he will turn you into a rat.

Pibtonarpbep's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Pibtonarpbep's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pibtonarpbep.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

4. Never feed lots of turnips to sheep while wearing yellow dresses.

5. Pibtonarpbep must be the most important thing in your life.