Ortboddogfeb is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish dugong.

Ortboddogfeb created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortboddogfeb, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ortboddogfeb, he will ignore you.

Ortboddogfeb's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Ortboddogfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near sharks while wearing purple coats.

4. Put Ortboddogfeb first in all things.

5. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.