Dogquartstafgep is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, happy centipede.

Dogquartstafgep created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogquartstafgep, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dogquartstafgep, he will turn you into a worm.

Dogquartstafgep's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Dogquartstafgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

4. Pray only in darkness.

5. Do not contemplate ultrasonics during the night.