Bapkabcar is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, quiet narwhal.

Bapkabcar created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapkabcar, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bapkabcar, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Bapkabcar's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Bapkabcar's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Retreat if four ducks approach from the east.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.