Arnlistlip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, moody jaguar.

Arnlistlip created time and space nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnlistlip, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arnlistlip, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Arnlistlip's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Arnlistlip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Arnlistlip.

3. Do not speak about cucumbers.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.