Flamtomnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, flying toad.

Flamtomnurt created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Flamtomnurt, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flamtomnurt, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Flamtomnurt's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Flamtomnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

2. Flamtomnurt loves manatees, so they must be respected.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Never stain your legs with gray.

5. Never go into pink rooms.