Honlunspag Kabflighudnell is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, ill-tempered mongoose.

Honlunspag Kabflighudnell created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Honlunspag Kabflighudnell, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Honlunspag Kabflighudnell, he will think nothing of it.

Honlunspag Kabflighudnell's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Honlunspag Kabflighudnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never talk about special relativity near whales while wearing magenta coats and balancing seven iron spheres on your hands.

3. Hide from turquoise manatees for they are unholy.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never write about quantum mechanics.