Sissagyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, weak crane.

Sissagyatt created snails nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sissagyatt, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sissagyatt, she will not care.

Sissagyatt's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Sissagyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

3. Always wear gray.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Sissagyatt loves ants, so they must be respected.