Jabtabkamtaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, ill-tempered chinchilla.

Jabtabkamtaf created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabtabkamtaf, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jabtabkamtaf, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jabtabkamtaf's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Jabtabkamtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. You must love Jabtabkamtaf.

4. Never talk about frogs.

5. Respect your elders.