Baghomfag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, wise monkey.

Baghomfag created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baghomfag, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Baghomfag, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Baghomfag's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Baghomfag's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never mention snakes.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never feed spinach to porpoises while wearing ear rings.