Yattwodgom is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, awe-inspiring dove.

Yattwodgom created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattwodgom, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yattwodgom, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yattwodgom's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Yattwodgom's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yattwodgom's priests.

2. You must love Yattwodgom.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Do not kill porpoises.