Tafpaspig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, witless penguin.

Tafpaspig created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Tafpaspig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tafpaspig, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tafpaspig's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Tafpaspig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always look after injured grasshopers.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

4. Never think about chromosomes.

5. Tafpaspig must be the most important thing in your life.