Arfciprig is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, charitable badger.

Arfciprig created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfciprig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arfciprig, she will be very unhappy.

Arfciprig's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Arfciprig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Arfciprig must be the most important thing in your life.