Lunvenquart is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, generous wombat.

Lunvenquart created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunvenquart, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lunvenquart, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Lunvenquart's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Lunvenquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

2. Always help sick tortoises.

3. Never feed cucumbers to bats while wearing yellow rings.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.