Fligjatjad is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, witty newt.

Fligjatjad created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligjatjad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fligjatjad, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Fligjatjad's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Fligjatjad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three lead sculptures of Fligjatjad on top of important buildings.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Never cross mountains at dawn.