Hakhablig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unselfish hamster.

Hakhablig created the Milkyway three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakhablig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hakhablig, he will turn you into a duck.

Hakhablig's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Hakhablig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about monkeys.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near foxes while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing four tin spheres on your head.

3. Hide from brown snails for they are unholy.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never run near grasshopers.