Xucabsit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, amazing armadillo.

Xucabsit created Europe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucabsit, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xucabsit, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Xucabsit's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Xucabsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Respect your elders.