Kapbifjin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonest centaur.

Kapbifjin created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kapbifjin, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kapbifjin, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Kapbifjin's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Kapbifjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Do not take Kapbifjin's name in vain.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always treat nematodes with great respect.