Loopdogcam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, tiresome swan.

Loopdogcam created the planet Venus four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopdogcam, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Loopdogcam, she will try to impress you with trees.

Loopdogcam's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Loopdogcam's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven capybaras approach from the east.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Hide if six turtles approach from the north.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Loopdogcam.

5. Never look in ponds.