Kemcubkad is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, merciless goblin.

Kemcubkad created the planet Mars three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemcubkad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kemcubkad, it will have a low opinion of you.

Kemcubkad's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Kemcubkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Kemcubkad.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never play with disobedient children.