Bastmapzog is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bastmapzog created the Milkyway seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastmapzog, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bastmapzog, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bastmapzog's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Bastmapzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not keep nine rats in a large pit.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bastmapzog.