Fonfitartrap is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, omnipotent hummingbird.

Fonfitartrap created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonfitartrap, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fonfitartrap, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fonfitartrap's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Fonfitartrap's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fonfitartrap.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Never talk about special relativity near squirrels while wearing red ear rings and balancing five zinc spheres on your arms.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Always take life seriously.