Nurtwitciss Dadtimren Megtoftan is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, uncaring mongoose.

Nurtwitciss Dadtimren Megtoftan created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtwitciss Dadtimren Megtoftan, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nurtwitciss Dadtimren Megtoftan, it will ignore you.

Nurtwitciss Dadtimren Megtoftan's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Nurtwitciss Dadtimren Megtoftan's Holy Commandments

1. Nurtwitciss Dadtimren Megtoftan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Do not speak about melons.

5. Nurtwitciss Dadtimren Megtoftan loves seals, so they must be respected.