Yarlshavlarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, generous raccoon.

Yarlshavlarp created energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlshavlarp, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yarlshavlarp, it will turn you into a dog.

Yarlshavlarp's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Yarlshavlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare wheat while wearing corsets.

2. Yarlshavlarp loves horses, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about capybaras.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.