Dubgabtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, emotional unicorn.

Dubgabtonk created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dubgabtonk, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dubgabtonk, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dubgabtonk's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Dubgabtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Dubgabtonk.

2. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

4. Never leap in the presence of snakes.

5. Always wear purple.